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| I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m
never able to
move on like (snap) this. People just have an affair or even entire
relationships,
they break up and forget. They move on like...they would have changed
random
cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with
because each
person had their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone...what is
lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me...I never
fully
recover. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved because it
hurts too
much. Even getting laid, haha, I actually don’t do that because I’ll
miss
of the person the most mundane things. Like I’m obsessed with little
things. Maybe I'm crazy, but when I was a little girl my mom told me
that I was always late for school. One day she followed me to see why.
I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees rolling on the
sidewalk, ants crossing the road, the way a leaf cast a shadow on a
tree trunk. Little things. I think it's the same for people,
I see the little details so specific to each of them, that move me and
that I
miss and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because
everyone is
made of such beautiful specific details. Like, I remember the way your
beard has
a bit of red in it and how the sun was making it glow that morning
right before
you left. I remember that and missed it....I’m really crazy, right?
- Before Sunset
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|
How does this man know?? Eerie...
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005
Are you pursuing a pragmatic plan or following a
futile fantasy? That's a good question. It deserves a good answer. A
realistic one. No single word can suffice. Whether you reply with a
'yes' or a 'no' you are assuming more certainty than you can possibly
be entitled to express. The only fair comment, the only apt response,
is an 'I don't know.' You don't know - and you won't know unless you
keep on trying long enough to find out. Don't wrestle with uncertainty
- but don't ignore it either. Just acknowledge it, and have faith. | | |
| Don't want to be back at work.
Sigh.
| | |
| Call me a teenybopper all you want, I still declare this song to be my anthem of the moment:
Since You've Been Gone
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
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